Redirecting My Energy

Wow! I can't believe it's already been almost a month since I last blogged. Life has been busy and I haven't made the time to blog and to be incredibly honest, I didn't want to admit defeat or change of plans. I hate being flaky or whatever labels I'm putting on myself...which are probably not true, just the story in my head.

So here is the current situation: I had to give up, let go of, (or maybe more realistically put on hold) starting midwifery school in the Fall. I just couldn't think of a way to come up with the finances since the school is not yet accredited. Meaning I can't get student loans, grants or anything like that until they are. I can't afford school on my doula income and my parents are already paying for my younger brother to go to school...so my options are quite limited at this point. So much so that I threw up my hands and said it'll just have to wait. I also decided to not take my last prerequisite starting next month since I have one client due next week and two more due the end of August. I figured I would be much too busy with my business to succeed in a short and intense course such as Anatomy and Physiology II. Not to mention that I'm also in the thick of getting a divorce and just about to file the first packet of paperwork. (A little bit stressful to say the least.)

Now that it's been a couple of weeks since I've made these decisions I feel much more settled. I have decided it will be much better for myself to focus much of my energy on getting my doula business up and running again. I am typing up handouts for my clients and getting my paperwork organized, making a flier for my business to tack around town(s), and coming up with new business cards and magnets to give to my clients. I'm really excited to be more focused on my business and nurturing it into a thriving doula practice. My goal is to have at least two client due dates a month and I really think that is achievable if I do the right advertising. I still meet so many people who don't know what a doula is and I think that is the first thing to address. The need of all women for support during the childbearing year, whether they choose to have a doula or not. All women need to be nurtured and empowered to make their own educated choices and be fully supported in them.

So spread the word "doula" around, my friends. Tell anyone you know that is pregnant or knows someone who is, that a doula helps in any way the mother needs and that it's incredibly valuable to look into getting a doula for birth and/or post-partum. Their first visit with me is free! Now, onto typing up those handouts...

Ecstacy vs. Pain in childbirth

I just watched this brief clip about orgasmic birth as an alternative to medicalized birth. Things I already knew, but wanted to share for those of you who had never seen this movie or heard of the concept. You will have to copy and paste the link...Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_0FLuu3VmY&feature=player_embedded

Midwifery School Fall 2010

About a week ago the midwifery school of my choice emailed me to ask if I would be signing up for my last prerequisite coming up at the end of this Summer and also if I intend to start the three year midwifery program with the 2010 Fall cohort. My stomach flip-flopped and my heart raced. My smile got way too big for my face and I'm sure my eyes were huge as I started at my computer screen. How to answer? What to say? My first response was a definite "Yes! All of it! Sign me up!" and my second was "How the heck am I going to come up with all that money?" I mean, I can make the time commitment. I can do the work. I can attend births as an apprentice, be sleep deprived, do the research, write my papers, be engaged in the on-line classroom, and still balance my family, my partner, and (hopefully) my sanity...but it's really the financial part that gets me. Michelle says, don't worry and there are plenty of ways to get the money for school especially since I am close to being considered a single mother of two young kids with hardly any income to speak of. Sure, I get paid for my work as a doula, but at this point it's not a living wage. It's enough to get groceries, gas and pay a bill occasionally. It will also be a lot easier to get financial assistance once this school is accredited, which will hopefully be soon. I have already met the woman who started the school when I attended the Midwifery Today conference last year in Eugene, Oregon. I actually stayed on her son's couch for those three nights and he and his housemates were VERY sweet and welcoming to me. At that conference I also spoke with one of the women who decides who gets into the midwifery program and she said to just complete my application and do the interview and she was sure I would get in. These things make me quite hopeful that somehow it will work out.

I emailed the school back and told them that I intend to do both; my last prerequisite and start the midwifery program in the Fall. The registrar emailed me back the same day with the list of things I needed to complete in order to apply for the program. I need: two letters of recommendation (that I just sent off to two wonderful and supportive women in my life who agreed to fill out the form), proof of high school graduation (easy), to write a personal essay about why I want to become a Certified Professional Midwife in around 1500 words, to upload a recent picture of myself, and last but not least, complete a 15-30 minute admissions interview over Skype. It all sounds quite doable. I'm thinking I should start on my essay today. Maybe Michelle would do a photoshoot for me so I can get some good recent pictures of myself? I would love to do a photoshoot on one of the beautiful days around here. We have so much beauty on the property with the mountains in the background, the stream, the open fields...pictures in front of our fireplace could be really pretty too.

It's fun and scary at the same time to get this ball rolling. I want to be a midwife so badly! I know this is going to take huge commitment and I understand the enormity of it all. It's one thing to know or think I know what it will be be like and it's another to live it and do it. I believe I have the drive and the passion to see it through. So I'm calling in all the abundance I need to make it happen; health (physical, emotional, and mental), family and friend support, financial, and time. I'm focusing on all of these areas. I will have the abundance I need to persevere and live my dreams. Midwifery school, here I come!

Next Steps

I've been on the computer now for hours. Checking emails and responding, reading blogs, checking facebook, and researching my next step in my midwifery education. The next class I need to take (my last prerequisite) is A&P II and it starts on August 16th. It costs money, as most education does. Which is fine, besides the fact that I'm running pretty low in that department. I keep trying to focus on abundance and know that when I put myself out there and state my needs, they will be met. I love thinking about being a midwife and the busy practice I will have someday with the glowing mothers and healthy babies. Empowering women to birth the way they choose and be that supportive woman right beside them with the knowledge and experience they can draw from when they question themselves. That I will be that quiet voice that says, "You know you can do this. You are doing this. Your wise woman is powerful. Listen to her." I can visualize it so clearly. I love what I do. I really believe that it is my calling and when I listen and do it, I feel infinite.

As I work toward becoming a midwife I also want to continue building my doula practice. My goal is to be busy with clients. I envision having two to four due dates on my calendar a month and also have a couple of postpartum clients, as well as continuing to sell and make baby slings. I want to make this blog beautiful and full of interesting information about all things natural momma/baby related. Another goal is to have an actual website dedicated to my business and create more of an on-line presence. These are things I will need help with since I don't consider myself incredibly computer or internet savvy.

A new friend (also recent client) came over for dinner last night. It was so nice to have her and her sweet baby girl over for a visit. It brings me so much joy to see the babies I help birth, grow. And it's so nice when I have that unspoken connection with the mother. It is such a huge thing to be part of a woman's process as she gives birth. I am so humbled every time I witness that miracle. This new friend is so fun to be around. She is such a light. My partner and I had the joy of doing her last postpartum visit together so that Michelle could get some more practice with her camera and do a photoshoot of them for free. When she came over last night we gave her a CD with all of the pictures on it. There are some with me in them and I asked if I could possibly use one or some for my promotional material. She said yes and now I just need to go through them more carefully and see what would work. I also want to put it out there, that if I have been your doula in the past and you have pictures you would like to send me or you are okay with me using, please let me know. I would love to compile pictures of past clients for a photo gallery on my (eventual) website.

I'm just thankful for all of the women who have let me be with them for their births and all the rest to come. I hope I can help make your journey the best it can be. I know from personal experience that a positive birth lasts a lifetime and can be so empowering and healing.

List

I have been struggling with what to say first. So much has happened in the past year, and even though I know that I don't need to recap it all, I feel that some things are important to know about me, since they are so much of who I am. Maybe it would be best to make a list? Yes, this will make it very simple without too much explaining. Wow, I sound like a Virgo...making lists. But like my Aquarius self, in no particular order...just flowing (or flying)like the free spirit I am.

I am:
~Mother - to two boys ages 6 (Milo) and 3 (Felix)
~Doula - for over four years, in all settings
~Musician - since I can remember (writing songs since I was 12)
~Lesbian - This is the biggest thing that has fully surfaced in the past year. Thus creating huge change.
~Divorcing - after an 8 year relationship. He is very supportive of me being who I am (I don't think he was too surprised). We have a good friendship and both love our kids very much. All good things.
~Partner - to Michelle. The loving, supportive, and caring woman in my life. She has helped me through much of the change in the past year and makes it possible for me to pursue my passion of birth work full time.
~Crafty - I love to sew, knit, draw, paint, make pottery, create in general
~Active - I love to bike, hike, camp, swim, garden, play, laugh, be silly
~A lover of all things natural - Being outside fills me with so much joy. I'm really into sustainability, supporting local, growing my own veggie garden, alternative health care and birth options...

Okay, I'm tired of the list. I think that starts us off with some good ground work. You know the very basics (if this blog is all you know of me) and each point can be expounded upon as I continue this blogging process. Sending you all love, as I am done for the day.

Introduction

My idea to start a blog started about a year ago. Originally, I thought it would only be about my journey to becoming a midwife...then the idea developed into something more. Firstly, I have never really blogged before, so this is pretty new to me. My purpose in finally starting this blog is for many reasons. Some of these are to more fully express myself to my friends, family, and clients, to educate about birth and what birth work can be like for those interested in the pregnancy/birth/postpartum supporting professions. Other reasons are to share about my journey toward becoming a midwife, to talk about my practice as a doula, and to share a little about my personal life. Yes, some of the reason I am blogging is to hopefully gain more doula clients. I think it will be a nice way for women and their partners to find out a bit about me either before or after meeting me.

The past year of my life has come with many changes and ups and downs. I am happy to say things are leveling out somewhat. I had to put my doula business (of almost 4 years at the time) on hold for months to let the dust settle a little and find out where I'd end up. I am now starting up my business again and would love to have two to four client due dates a month, like I used to. I am currently providing services to women in Whatcom, Skagit, and Island counties in Washington. I love having a full schedule with lots of mamas and babies to help as they rediscover the world together. I believe the transition though pregnancy, birth, and the first month or so post-partum are one of the biggest life changes for women, babies, and the family. I want to empower, support, and give lots of compassion to the families that choose to have me as their doula. I will do my best to give you care specific to your needs and wishes. It is my desire to help one woman at a time find her best way of mothering and nurturing her new little one, while getting support for herself so that both can flourish together, creating one more peaceful family in the whole.

I hope you join me on my journey. Let me know if you have any questions about my life or business. I'm here to share.